The Armchair Detectives: A totally unputdownable and hilarious British cozy murder mystery by Matt Dunn

Author:Matt Dunn [Dunn, Matt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bookouture
Published: 2025-10-02T00:00:00+00:00

34

Because that statement might well be true, I shush Albie as I load him back into the minibus, pretty sure Tommy’s watching us from inside. It’s only once we’re driving back along the seafront that I feel confident to broach the subject. But not before I’ve dealt with something else.

‘Marty?’ I shake my head. ‘Really, Albie?’

‘You told me to follow your lead.’

‘That’s where it came from?’

‘Where else?’ says Albie, crossly. ‘In character, wasn’t I?’

I’m a little disappointed Albie still can’t remember anything about our former lives, or at least, still won’t admit to remembering anything, though the fact our meeting with Tommy Walker couldn’t have gone any better mitigates that somewhat. ‘That went well, then?’

I can feel Albie’s eyes drilling into the back of my head. ‘Are you being sarcastic?’

‘Not at all! He as good as admitted that he’s going to be turning Twilight Lodge into flats. Expensive ones – and with sea views! And those “obstacles” he’s got to deal with first…’

‘Us?’

‘Exactly.’

Albie doesn’t say anything for a moment, then he clears his throat. ‘Don’t you think it’s a little far-fetched to be murdering the occupants of a building you don’t already own?’

‘Not if that’s part of the deal. After all, he set fire to the school, and he didn’t own that.’

‘Arson’s different. This is murder we’re talking about. Cold-blooded and systematic. Like I said the other day, setting fire to Twilight Lodge would be easier. Get rid of all the “obstacles” in one full sweep.’

‘Maybe he wants the building as intact as possible. Why give yourself extra construction work and therefore additional costs if you don’t have to? And by the way, it’s “fell swoop”.’

‘What is?’

‘You said “full sweep”. It’s “fell swoop”.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous!’

‘I’m not being ridiculous.’

‘Yes you are!’ spits Albie.

‘Okay, clever clogs. What is a “full sweep”, exactly?’

‘It’s where you do everything in one go, like a sweep…’ Albie makes an appropriate gesture with his hand, grand enough that I can see it in the rear-view mirror. ‘And because you’ve done everything, it’s a full one.’

‘Don’t you mean “clean sweep”?’

‘No!’ says Albie, testily. ‘Well, yes. That as well.’

‘So why didn’t you say that?’

‘Because the phrase is “full sweep”.’

‘No, it isn’t!’ I insist. ‘It’s f-e-l-l. And “swoop”. Like a bird might.’

‘Why isn’t it “fowl swoop”, then?’

‘Well, because…’ I give him a look over my shoulder, wondering whether to concede he might have a point, and Albie rolls his eyes, and I grin, and we both already know we’ve moved past our disagreement. This used to happen a lot in the field – when you’re on surveillance duties, usually stuck in cramped quarters, sometimes for days, and quite possibly without access to proper sanitary facilities, even the lightest of remarks or most innocuous of habits can become the most ridiculously frustrating annoyances. But you just can’t let these things get to you, especially when you’re on an important mission. And both armed.

Surreptitiously, I glance at Albie in the rear-view mirror, happy to see what’s almost a smile on his face. ‘So Tommy Walker’s a suspect?’

‘He’s got the motive.

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